


Wasurenaide Kudasai | Please Don't Forget

by FelicityCleone



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Heavy Angst, Kurotsuki Angst Week 2018 - Day 3, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 00:16:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16294679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FelicityCleone/pseuds/FelicityCleone
Summary: Ten years. What was my life like in these ten years I don't remember?Did I get into the university I've always aimed for?Did I play collegiate volleyball?Did I drop out of school?Did I graduate and landed a job?Did I ever get married?Did I have somebody special to me?





	Wasurenaide Kudasai | Please Don't Forget

**Author's Note:**

> After being away for so long (gomen, life caught up to me), I was pleasantly surprised that there was something going on in my fave ship! And it's angst! Please let me contribute something too!
> 
> Day 3's prompt is *amnesia* and I'd have to confess I don't really know much and I'm super lazy to really do a thorough research. I'm sure that this will have many medical inconsistencies but hey, anything goes in this story! Do leave a comment if you want to point something out, but please be gentle; it's my first time in a while LOL ^_<
> 
> P.S. 忘れる (wasureru), the Japanese word for "to forget" is one of my most favorite kanjis so far. It is comprised of the characters 亡 (dead) and 心 (heart). I love it because the characters are so fitting - the heart dies when it's forgotten.
> 
> P.P.S. i thought i had this posted yesterday only to revisit ao3 today and discovering that i am such an idiot. Gomen for being a day late, stupidity at its finest.

忘れないでください | Wasurenaide Kudasai | Please Don't Forget

 

**»» 11 ««**

He blinked at the fuzzy images that greeted his eyes, vaguely wondering where he was and _wait, is this still Bo's captaincy party?_  because a lot of people were suddenly by his bed and there was a racuous celebration when they noticed him waking up.

He blinked and rubbed his eyes until the fuzzy figures formed into sharper images of people - an assortment of guys that are both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. _Who are these people?_

"Eleven weeks!" Bokutou's loud voice boomed over the noise and he let out an inaudible sigh of relief at the sight of someone he's _sure_  he knows. "You darn cat, you gave us quite the scare! Tsukki, especially!"

 _Tsukki?_  He wondered, brown eyes ghosting over the sea of faces. "Who is Tsukki?"

The room went silent.

**»» 10 ««**

Ten years of life.

Kuroo Tetsurou was stunned to learn that he was already 27, but all he remembers is his life until he was 17. His knees suddenly gave way at the thought that he's just lost ten years of his life and would have slumped to the floor if not for his nurse catching him before he did.

_Ten years. What was my life like in these ten years I don't remember?_

Did he get into the university he's always aimed for?  
Did he play collegiate volleyball?  
Did he drop out of school?  
Did he graduate and landed a job?  
Did he ever get married?

_Did I have somebody special to me?_

A whole hoarde of questions came trampling through his wild thoughts and he had to cradle his head when a piercing pain shot through.

"It's okay, Kuroo-san." His nurse, a silver-haired good-looking guy smiled sympathetically at him as he got back to his bed. "Don't force yourself to remember, I'm sure those memories will return to you soon."

He leaned back on the mountain of pillows the nurse propped up on his headboard. That was the exact same thing his doctor, a serious and gruff-looking guy, had told him earlier.

The memories will come back to him.

"It may take days, weeks, months, even years for all the memories to return." Dr Iwaizumi looked at him and offered a small smile. "Just trust the process and come back to us, you _bakeneko_."

"Thank you." He breathed out as soon as he's fully settled in and gave the nurse a watery smile.

"Don't push yourself too hard, Kuroo-san. Right now all of us are just happy you're finally awake."

"Do I...I mean, we - are we friends?"

"Since your last year in high school, Kuroo-san. Karasuno and Nekoma had been friends since our first volleyball training camp." The silver-haired guy smiled wistfully, as if reliving a rather fond memory before he snapped back to the present and draped a mask of professionalism over his features.  "Give the nurses' station a ring should you need anything, I'm off to see how Tsukki is doing."

_There's that mention of Tsukki again, I wonder what kind of person he is, to be named after the moon._

"That Tsukki...do I know him?"

The nurse stopped dead in his tracks and nodded without looking back at him.

"I hope you do, Kuroo-san. I hope you still do."

**»» 9 ««**

Nine days since he woke up from an eleven-week coma and Kuroo Tetsurou was bored and sick of the hospital. He had nothing to do but undergo tests and rehabilitations to take back control of his unused muscles. He was sick staring at the four-wall confines of his room, painted sterile white like they always do in medical facilities. He was sick of the same old programs on TV, sick of people visiting him and looking at him sadly like they want him to do something g _od knows what_. He's asked, bargained, and pleaded with Dr. Iwaizumi to be let out with no success, the doctor sighing and telling him he's not ready yet. The only time he gets out of his room is when he is wheeled by his physical therapist, another serious yet kind guy named Sawamura Daichi, into the rehabilitation room.

Nine days from waking up, Kuroo Tetsurou decided to look over the single window of his hospital room, blinds drawn per doctor's orders. He has always known that there was a window there, since he remembered Dr. Iwaizume barking at Kenma to close the shutters back when the pudding head decided to let the sunshine in during one of his visits. He limped towards it, mind set on seeing what was beyond his room walls, something that has never crossed his mind before.

Nine days from waking up, he saw that beyond his room is a small garden with a single sakura tree where a solitary wrought-iron bench sat below. It was nowhere near spring, and so Kuroo could clearly see, through the leafless twigs and branches, that there was someone there.

The person was swathed in blankets and seemed to be sitting on a wheelchair, if the unused bench was anything to go by. Kuroo couldn't determine if the person was a male or a female, since they were wearing a hooded jacket and looking down as they seemed to be writing something.

He stared at the figure for a few seconds before dismissing the sight as unimportant and headed back to his bed, only to hear--

"Tsukki, how many times do I have to tell you? You shouldn't be outside in this weather, come on. Let's get you in, okay?"

Tetsurou did a sharp 180-turn back to the window as another voice joined the first, not minding the rippling ache that coursed through his rehabilitating muscles that groaned and creaked at every sudden yet purposeful movement. Each step was painful and he broke out in cold sweat as he stumbled towards his goal.

"Oh my god, Tsukki! I was so worried! Thank you for finding him, sensei."

"I am fine."

He was gritting his teeth as he stumbled to the window. He almost knocked down the big vase full of flowers from Kenma in his haste to get to the scene. However, by the time he poked his head out to look, all he saw was the olive head of the retreating figure pushing Tsukki back inside the hospital.

_Tsukki...Do I know you?_

Nine days from waking up, and Kuroo Tetsurou has had his first memory flashback.

_Blinding lights. Tires screeching on asphalt._

Kuroo doubled over in pain, screaming so hard his throat hurt. He was vaguely aware of his nurse, Sugawara Koushi, running to him. His head felt like it was splitting open, and tears stung his eyes.

Make it stop, please make it stop. So painful--

_Tetsurou trying to unbuckle his seat belt in an attempt to protect the person on the passenger seat in his embrace--_

"Kuroo-san, look at me." Sugawara was already by his side, enclosing him in a fierce, forceful hug that aimed to restrain his movements rather than give comfort. "Kuroo-san, you're safe, you're fine, look at me please--

_"Tetsurou, wasurenaide. I love you, don't forget."_

He passed out on the floor and did not wake up until the next day.

**»» 8 ««**

Tsukki always comes to the garden at 8 in the morning, according to Kuroo's 3-day observation. Although always dressed in a hoodie, Kuroo knows for certain that Tsukki is a guy, having overheard the occasional conversations he has with the olive-haired guy who comes to get him at 8:30.

Sawamura then comes to get Kuroo to his therapy at 9, and when he gets wheeled back in at 4 in the afternoon, the garden is desserted, making him wonder about _Tsukki's_  whereabouts all throughout dinner and way past his set bed time.

He doesn't know why, but every fiber of his being is screaming to go to the guy, as if all the answers he's looking for is with _Tsukki._

He does not know why, but ever since learning about Tsukki, Tetsurou has had the nagging feeling that he's forgetting something important, something that he might lose if he won't remember it very soon.

And Tsukki,

Tsukki will know what it was.

***

His rehabilitation schedule that morning was postponed to the next day, and Kuroo finally had the chance to go to the garden beyond his room window. He gulped down his entire breakfast in 3 big spoonfuls, brushed his teeth and (attempted to) tame his hair a little.

With slow, agonizing steps, he finally reached the garden. The single, solitary figure was there, sitting on the wheelchair and engrossed in folding paper cranes. Kuroo frowned, thinking about how different the person looked at a close angle than from watching him from the window. He wasn't swaddled in blankets today, for starters, clad instead in pyjamas with only a knitted cardigan draped over his shoulders and a beanie on his blonde head to shelter him from the cold pre-winter atmosphere.

Tetsurou stood still, looking at the person for a bit longer. He appeared to be tall, judging the way he had tucked those legs at an awkward angle under his chair. His long fingers adeptly folded a paper square into a perfect crane.

_Is he really Tsukki?_

Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, Tetsurou started walking again and called out when he was near enough:

"Tsukki?"

The fingers folding the crane stopped momentarily and Kuroo had half-expected the guy to look up and greet him like the other visitors who came to visit him, so he plastered on a smile just in case.

The person never did, and continued folding. Kuroo frowned, took a few more steps until he was right in front of the person. Sensing the presence of another person in the garden, the guy finally stopped folding and looked up to see who it was.

Kuroo found himself staring at gold eyes and thought they were pretty, but nothing else. Kuroo had always imagined what meeting _Tsukki_  would be like, expected for it to be a momentous occasion, where one would feel that time would seemingly stop. He had expected to be winded up, to have his heartbeat speeding because _this_ , this person here is a very important puzzle piece, the key to remembering the ten years he had lost.

He had expected a clash of cymbals, a display of fireworks, an attack of cannonballs.

There was none.

**»» 7 ««**

Seven hours later, Kuroo was back in his bed and looking back on his day and feeling slightly disappointed at the turn of events.

The person he met in the garden was... _peculiar_ , for lack of better adjectives.

_"Hi, I'm Kuroo Tetsurou. Have we known each other before?"_

He had stared into those gold orbs, trying to catch a flash of recognition that never came. Instead, the guy just stared at him, giving no indication that he heard Kuroo's introduction.

_"My name is Tetsurou. What is your name?"_

The blond stared still, pink lips slightly parted. In a flash of inspiration, Kuroo picked up one of the paper squares stacked beside the blonde, and because the wasn't a pen or a pencil anywhere, he used a small twig on the ground to indent the kanji for his name:

_Tetsurou._

Kuroo looked on as the blonde stared at the paper curiously before writing his own name's kanji directly down below with the same twig.

_Hotaru._

So the guy was named after the fireflies, but not the moon. Maybe this wasn't Tsukki, after all. Besides, he seemed to be deaf.

_"Let's be friends, Hotaru!"_

The guy gave him a small sad smile, but nodded nonetheless.

***

_"Yeah, said Tetsurou came to him yesterday. Didn't recognize him as well." Thought he was deaf too, apparently._

_"Shit, I really feel sorry for him. First his legs and then--"_

_"They don't deserve any of this."_

_"Don't tell Tetsurou. Tsukki wanted this to stay a secret."_

Kuroo woke up to what he thought were whispered conversations by his bed, but his room was decidedly empty when he came to.

He went to stare at the garden again after breakfast hoping to see Tsukki, but all he saw was Hotaru, who seemed to be folding paper cranes again. His heart dropped to his stomach.

_Who are you, Tsukki? When will I see you?_

He decided to go down again and help Hotaru fold his cranes. Maybe Tsukki might show up today.

**»» 6 ««**

Six days of paper folding with Hotaru taught Tetsurou a lot of things about the guy.

1.  Hotaru got into an accident that crushed his legs and he won't be able to walk anymore.  
  
It took him a lot of arm flapping and a repertoire of many other actions to ask how the blond got into the hospital, and the guy laughed at him soundlessly before pulling out a pen and a notebook and wrote down the answer to his question. Kuroo has never felt more annoyed and outsmarted in all his life, pouting to show his displeasure. Hotaru merely tapped his pen on his protruding lips, before dumping a new stack of origami squares on the raven-haired's lap.

2.  Hotaru is folding a thousand paper cranes for a wish that isn't even for himself.

_"Hey, Hotaru, how many cranes do you want to make?"_

Kuroo Tetsurou flapped his arms in imitation of a bird, to which Hotaru raised a fair eyebrow to but nonetheless wrote down 1 000 on a notebook in a minute yet neat handwriting.

Kuroo nodded, then wrote himself in his characteristic loopy scrawl: _wish?_

_For a special someone._

_Why? Is he sick, too?_

_He's lost. I'm wishing for his safe return._

_How many cranes do you still need?_

_496._

Hotaru never mentioned anything about his special someone again, but every once in a while Kuroo would notice him staring, a soft sad smile playing on his lips.

It was the same sad smile he gave Tetsurou on the day they first met.

3.  Hotaru loves strawberries.

 _"Hey, Hotaru."_  Tetsurou said by way of greeting as he walked over to the lanky figure that has become a constant in his mornings at the hospital, even if he knows the guy will never hear him. Over the days he has slowly regained control of his muscles, and can now walk without aid of walkers and crutches.

He shoved under the blonde's nose a small basket of strawberries he had received from Bo and Akaashi when they visited the previous evening. That earned him a glare from Hotaru, to which he laughed openly. He has found out as the days go by that Hotaru is cute when he gets annoyed and Kuroo cannot let up an opportunity to rile up the younger man.

He received the basket with a cute blush that ran from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, and hastily bowed down to scribble a _Thank you_  followed by a bright, blinding smile that lit up his golden eyes, making them look like they were splattered in gold dust.

Kuroo has had another discovery that day: he can, and he will do anything to make Hotaru smile again like that.

The more he stayed with Hotaru, the less he thought about Tsukki.

4.  Hotaru loves dinosaurs, and works as a History teacher in a local high school in Miyagi.

 _"Wait, what?"_  Kuroo could not help but shout in surprise at what Hotaru wrote when asked about his work. _"But how do you do that? I mean, with your...uh, difficulty in speaking? Ah, must be a special school, ne?"_

Hotaru merely shrugged, and Kuroo saw that he was drawing a small triceratops at the bottom left part of the page.

5.   Hotaru keeps a secret journal in the form of a black notebook that he hastily places behind his back when Kuroo comes towards him.

 _"You're writing again."_  Tetsurou said, leaning over from behind Hotaru who was so into scribbling something in his notebook that he did not notice the bedhead sneak his way into the garden.

The blonde jerked up suddenly at the feel of Kuroo's hot breath on his ear, the back of his head crashing against Tetsurou's nose. The bedhead yelped in pain as he staggered backwards before landing flat on his bum, which made him wince for the second time.

The blonde turned his wheelchair around to face Tetsurou, gold eyes blown wide when he saw blood slowly trickling down Kuroo's nose.

The blonde wheeled himself closer, trying to wipe the blood away with the sleeves of his pyjama top. The act caused the neckline to go down, revealing a necklace hanging on Hotaru's pale neck.

The pendant was a ring, and Kuroo did not have the time to admire its beauty as pain suddenly seared through his head and he clutched his hands around his ears, his mind transporting him back to another time in his past.

_"What are you doing there, kneeling on the floor?"_

_"Isn't it obvious? I'm proposing, so Tsukishima Kei, will you marry me?"_

6.  Hotaru is not deaf at all, and can actually speak.

Before he lost consciousness at the pain that came along with another memory, the last thing Tetsurou saw was Hotaru's tear-stained face cradling his head.

_"Tetsu, Tetsu, I'm here. Come back, Tetsu. Please don't forget."_

**»» 5 ««**

Kuroo woke up in a cold sweat at 5AM, surprised to see the familiar walls of his own room as he relived yet another memory flashback.

_"Hey, Tsukki."_

_"Please don't call me that, Kuroo-san."_

_"What? I think I have the right to call my boyfriend any nickname that I like, thank you very much."_

_"Well I also think I can always call it quits when my boyfriend is being an ass."_

_"But Tsukki!"_

Before he could even analyze and pick the memory apart frame by frame to get answers, there was a flurry of activity out on the hall outside.  His curiosity getting the better of him, he got out of bed and peeked through his door.

"How is Tsukki doing?" It was the gruff voice of Iwaizumi Hajime, taking long purposeful strides to the end of the hall.

"We have tried to drain the fluid out, but--" A sob cut off Sugawara Koushi's response. "Iwaizumi-san, please."

The doctor nodded grimly as both of them broke into a run, leaving Kuroo gaping by the door, body growing cold as he came to realize the implication of the conversation he just heard.

 **»» 4 ««**  
  
Kuroo had been sitting on the bench for four hours, waiting for Hotaru to come, waiting for someone he can talk to just to keep his mind off what he just heard.

Hotaru never came.

**»» 3 ««**

It was already three in the afternoon and Kuroo was absent-mindedly folding paper cranes from the stack of papers he had asked from Kenma, who just raised a brow at his unusual request but complied, trying to forget the worry eating at him.

Eleven paper cranes later, the door to his room slammed open, revealing an olive-haired guy who walked straight up to Kuroo's bed with tears streaming down his face. Sugawara Koushi and Sawamura Daichi followed soon after, slightly panting.

Before Tetsurou could ask, however, the guy reached out for his hand.

"You have to come with me, Kuroo-san." The guy pleaded, and the bedhead realized with a jolt that this person was familiar. "Please."

"No, Yamaguchi!" Sawamura was instantly by their side, prying Yamaguchi away from Kuroo. "You know he's not yet--"

"But what about Tsukki?!" Yamaguchi roared, pushing Sawamura away. Tetsurou stared in shock at the sight of a lanky guy pushing the muscled therapist away with so much force that the latter stumbled backwards. "Tsukki is dying, and he deserves to be happy even for the last time!"

The words punched Tetsurou in the gut, physically knocking him that he curled on in himself, surprised at the tears that came falling down in torrents.

Tsukki is dying. Tsukki is dying and Kuroo cannot remember who he was.

He struck his head with his fist, hating the fact that his brain still stubbornly deprives him the memories he needs. He struck again, frustrated and pained and angry, at himself, at that goddamn accident that took away ten years of his life.

He would have landed another strong blow to his head again if not for Sugawara holding his arm just in time, crying as hard as he was.

"Let's go see Tsukki, Kuroo-san."

**»» 2 ««**

Two rooms. Two fvcking rooms. Tsukki was two rooms from where he was, and Kuroo wanted to kill himself for not thinking about finding Tsukki's room all the days prior.

Sugawara knocked at the door twice, then gave a teary smile at Kuroo as he opened the door wide enough for the bedhead to stumble through, legs and feet feeling like lead and arms limping at his sides like they've just hoisted the entire world on Tetsurou's shoulders.

There were people in the room, the same people he saw by his bedside when he woke up, with the addition of another set of people who had either the same shade of flaxen hair or the same gold eyes as Hotaru.

_Wait, what's happening here?_

They - _one woman, two men-_  were huddled around the patient's bedside, obscuring Tsukki from Tetsurou's eyes. When they noticed Tetsurou's presence, they all moved towards him, the lady opening her arms for a hug that Kuroo promptly fell into.

 _"Tetsurou, my child."_  She had sobbed into his ear, clutching at him tightly like he was a lifeline. _"Thank you for being here, even for the last time."_

Everyone left, leaving Kuroo to finally see Tsukki.

Leaving Kuroo to finally say goodbye to a Tsukki that he still cannot remember.

Kuroo slowly walked the few steps to Tsukki's bedside, noting the numerous wires and tubes connected to his pale, thin frame, noting the way his chest heaved up and down heavily, like the very act of breathing was painful.

He slowly approached Tsukki, whose nose and mouth covered with a device that aided him to breathe, for these last moments that seemed to stretch out forever.

Tetsurou almost died right then and there when he finally got a good look at Tsukki and saw that he was--

 _"Hotaru."_  Tetsurou gingerly reached out to touch one of Tsukki's fingertips. _"Why didn't you tell me?"_

Hotaru just gave him a sad smile through his tears. _"It's Tsukishima Kei, actually."_

Tsukishima Kei held out one frail hand, revealing one tiny paper crane that was no longer than Kuroo's thumb.

_"I just finished the one thousandth crane, and my wish really came true."_

_"Hotaru."_  Kuroo sobbed, clutching the offered hand in both of his. _"Kei, no, don't leave. I'm here, I'm here now."_

_"Tetsurou, wasurenaide. I love you, don't forget."_

**»» 1 ««**

Tsukki's mother handed him a key after the funeral, a key to an apartment he shared with Tsukishima Kei for five happy years.

He took the paper cranes with him as he drove off, a symbol of Tsukki's wish come true.

Tetsurou is no longer lost.


End file.
